


To Find Another Gargoyle

by DraniKitty



Series: Tales from the Garbage Court [8]
Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Curses, fae, in which tom is a sphinx, ross learns what he stole his book from, shit look at that character list, the garbage court smells like smoke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-14 09:54:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7166423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DraniKitty/pseuds/DraniKitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will's cold takes its toll on the Garbage Court's flat, which turns into a small hidden blessing, as it prompts Ross to actively seek any other gargoyles in the city.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Find Another Gargoyle

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: This is the one that started off the entirety of Tales from the Garbage Court! It began as just another short story, ending with Ross praying for Will's recovery, and grew to the big series that it is now! Also keep in mind, I started this MANY months ago, probably last... August? September? So it predates some things that happened in that time, RL, but it didn't feel right to have that reflect negatively on the overall narrative. I can immortalize some people as assholes another time.

This wasn't what Xephos had expected to find on his doorstep - The entirety of the core of the Garbage Court, and his nephew, all looking a bit worse for wear - Ross clutched a book, Will was wrapped in a blanket, Trott was clutching a folder while actually wearing his selkie skin, and Smith was holding onto a backpack. He took in a sharp breath at the sight of them all, only to make a face and cover his nose. "What is that SMELL?! And why are your clothes covered in black patches?!"

 

Sips, pushing his hat back, grimaced as he looked sideways. "Well, ya see... We need a place to STAY for a while... Our place kinda... Went up in flames?"

 

Ross pointed at Will, who looked the worst of the lot. "He has a cold, and sneezed, and..."

 

Xephos let out a long, drawn-out sigh as he rubbed his fingers on the bridge of his nose, eyes closed. He didn't need further explanation. "Alright..." He pointed at the three fae. "But NO funny business! I want my house, and everybody and everything in it, to be exactly as it was before you three stepped in! Understood?"

 

All three held up their hands, giving words of promise. Relief was evident on their faces as they shuffled in, Sips bringing up the rear.

 

Smith stopped as a hand appeared in front of his face, causing him to frown. "What? What now-" He stared at the hand held out. "Oh no, oh no no no... I am NOT handing them over!"

 

Behind him, Sips jabbed him in the back. "Look, you wanna sleep in your car, or in a BED? He's Will's uncle, and you'd trust Will with your bridle, wouldn't you?"

 

"Maybe..." A pause. "Yeah..."

 

"Then why's his uncle different? All he'll do is hold onto it."

 

Smith whined, but pulled his keys out of his pocket, despite his reluctance. Xephos' long fingers closed around them as he stepped aside, letting Smith into his home. "No funny business! And don't think I don't know you're rolling your eyes at me, I've RAISED teenagers!"

 

Hugging the one remaining blanket around himself, Will gave Xephos a smile. "Thank you..." He started to shuffle for the stairs, only to stop and turn around, coughing before he spoke up. "Um... Where can we sleep?"

 

"YOU'RE sleeping on the couch! I'm not having you climb all the stairs up to the attic like that!" Xephos placed his hands on Will's shoulders, directing him in. "You lay down and I'll get you tea. As for your friends..."

 

"Court."

 

He made a face at the choice of word. "COURT... THEY can sleep in the attic." He eyed Ross, who was squinting at an old family photo. "Though I'm not sure it'll handle stone too well..."

 

Not looking away, Ross grinned an impish grin he could only have picked up from being around Smith. "I think it's sturdy enough. Holds my weight fine!" He finally looked over. "Handles pillow fights over who ACTUALLY won a game real well!"

 

The sound that came from Xephos' throat made it evident he didn't think the whole truth was being told. But then, Ross hadn't technically LIED... He'd heard the pair playing video games up there back before Will had moved in with the raucous group. He let out a quiet huff, heading into the kitchen.

 

"You let bleedin' fae in the house..."

 

Turning the electric kettle on, Xephos didn't immediately look at Honeydew, sat at the table. "Will trusts them... I don't, GOD I don't trust them! But Will's attached..." He turned around, leaning his back against the counter with his arms crossed. "And they have nowhere else to go right now..." He rubbed his face with one hand. "I just hope I'm not making a MISTAKE."

 

Honeydew got up from where he sat, walking over and giving Xephos a pat on the arm. "Hey, it'll be alright... They promised, no funny business. And you know how fae are! All their rules and stuff..." He paused. "And you know the house is safe from WILL, too."

 

A laugh escaped Xephos before he covered his mouth, a bit of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Everything's so magicked up in here, I'm not sure he could turn the telly on without either the remote or getting up." He decided to ignore the distinct thump on the livingroom floor that meant Ross had sat down by the sofa. His focus turned, instead, to the whistling kettle.

 

"You should offer them tea, too, you know... Only polite, considerin' how well they HAVE been treatin' Will, and it'd be worth the looks on their faces... Especially the kelpie! Seems the right proud sort." Even as he spoke, Honeydew moved a stool over, standing on it to get mugs down. Seven in all, he set them on a tray. "You get the mixins, I got the mugs!"

 

As the kettle quieted down, Xephos couldn't help the smile on his face as he watched Honeydew leave the room. Maybe he was right... Maybe that kelpie WOULD be making faces at accepting tea from him. He filled a tea pot with the hot water, adding the tea leaves in a small metal ball before he grabbed the sugar and cream to add onto the tray. He found Ross where he'd thought he would be - On the floor, next to the sofa, sitting there next to Will's head.

 

He couldn't help frowning at the sight of Sips in his arm chair. He held his tongue, though. Guests... Didn't want to be impolite. "I don't know who likes what in their tea..." He set the tray on the coffee table. "But I have cream and sugar, and if anybody likes lemon, I can go get it."

 

Smith started to open his mouth, only for a shoulder to nudge into his. He looked over to find Trott giving him a warning look. He frowned back, then returned his gaze to Xephos. "I'll have just sugar in mine..." An elbow in his side prompted him to force out a thank you between gritted teeth.

 

As they all carefully sat around the coffee table, with the exceptions of Sips in the recliner and Will on the sofa, Trott looked to Xephos. "Don't you have two sons...? I'd imagine one would be down here by now." Not both, just one. He knew where the other was, off in a tree with a dryad.

 

Honeydew, setting his spoon down, gave a wave of his hand. "Lalna's probably got his nose buried in his computer right now." He took a sip of his tea, then became only slightly thoughtful. "I should go get him, since I DID grab him a cup."

 

From the sofa, Will watched Honeydew leave, having sat up so he could drink his tea. He hadn't truly realized how parched he was, or how sore his throat had become, until the first of the warm liquid had hit the back. He got a few gulps down and the cup back on the table beside the sofa before he started coughing. The lights didn't even brighten or dim, testament to the magic on everything to keep it safe. He leaned appreciatively into arms that were suddenly holding him and hands rubbing his back.

 

Xephos watched the way his nephew was doted on, and began to wonder... Was he judging some of the fae unfairly? He stirred his tea in thought, only looking up as Honeydew returned with Lalna in tow. "Finally pulled him off his computer, then?"

 

"Yeah, was readin' some manual online."

 

"Hey, it was helping me figure out how to fix my bloody phone!" Lalna didn't seem to notice the guests in the house right away, taking his mug of tea and sitting on the sofa with it. "I really don't wanna have to get a new one and why are there fae in our livingroom?" He shifted, eyeballing first Smith and Ross on the floor and then Trott on the sofa between him and Will.

 

Xephos let out a long sigh. "They're guests. There was an accident, and they needed somewhere to stay... So they're staying here. For now."

 

Wary as his parents about the fae, Lalna accepted the answer, sipping at his tea.

 

* * *

 

 

Hours later, after everybody else had gone to bed, Xephos descended the steps alone to check on Will. After directing the Garbage Court up to the attic where they'd be sleeping, he'd gone to his and Honeydew's room to read, assuming all were tucked into bed and that he'd soon hear the thump of Will's old bed giving out under the combined weight of the Court. He hadn't heard it, though, and figured the bed was as Ross said - Much sturdier than it seemed.

 

As he quietly walked to the doorway into the livingroom, he was relieved to find his nephew asleep, as relaxed as anybody with a plugged up nose could be. He was surprised, though, to find Ross in there, sitting on the floor as before, back to the sofa and hunched over. Xephos watched for a few minutes, taking in how Ross had his eyes closed, hands in his lap, mouth moving quietly. He strained his ears, trying to hear.

 

"...to Raphael, for a quick recovery from illness, to Micheal, to protect him in his time of need, to..."

 

Xephos couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth as he silently turned and went back upstairs. Perhaps... Perhaps Will would be fine, with the Garbage Court. They were reckless as any of the youths around them at times, but in the end... They cared deeply for one another.

 

* * *

 

 

Sips was already up when Xephos walked into the kitchen. The only other person awake so early was Honeydew, down in his basement workshop already. He cleared his throat, turning on the kettle. "Morning."

 

"Morning, Xephos." Sips was staring out the kitchen window, watching the neighbors rise and get their papers or jog by. "Thanks for putting us up for a while. We owe you."

 

Xephos let out a sound, getting a couple mugs down. "Call it a favor to Will. He's family, after all."

 

He stretched, back popping against the chair. "I know how that is. Those bastards are my family now. All I got in the world." He turned, looking up at Xephos. "I'd do anything for them, you know?"

 

He stared back for a moment, a slight glow touching his eyes, before he turned back to the kettle as it whistled. "I suppose... How did you even wind up with them? I know how Will did, I tried to stop it. Been worried out of my mind about him running around with fae since he met them."

 

"Perfectly natural reaction." Sips held his hands up, fingers splayed. "Been there, done that shit. And you wanna know what happened? I wound up a sad sack of a human, haunting that 24-hour bowling alley that used to be over by the west side mall. I woulda wound up dead, too, but... Well, now look at me. I'm a king!"

 

Blinking, Xephos turned to Sips, a confused look on his face. "You had a family before the Garbage Court?"

 

"Of course I did. And I loved them. But things happen, and then they're gone." He sighed, accepting a mug gratefully. "Not gonna give you the sad details, but we'll just say.. The fae of the Garbage Court aren't the only ones who hate the horned shitlord." He stirred his tea, staring at it.

 

Across from him, Xephos sat down. "Oh... I'm sorry."

 

Sips frowned, waving his hand. "Don't be, it's in the past. All we can do is look back and be sad, learn some lessons from it... Not much else." He took a sip of his tea, then set the cup down. "Look, I know you don't trust fae. I don't blame you, everybody's there at some point. But tricky as they can be, not all fae are evil."

 

He gave Sips a flat look. "One example."

 

Thinking for a moment, Sips looked out the window. The green car caught his eye. "Smiffy."

 

"That's really reaching..."

 

"Hear me out! See, Smiffy's a kelpie, right? Kills people, eats them... But that's just kelpie nature. Mischievous like a teenager on summer break, but not really evil. He only kills because he has to eat." He tapped the table for a moment. "What was the way Trott said he put it to Ross..? Right, a bear. Smith is like a bear."

 

Xephos looked at him skeptically, mug halfway to his mouth. "He's... Hairy?"

 

Now Sips was the one giving a flat look. "No, dumby. He can eat anything, but there's some things he has to eat. Wait, that wasn't it, he's like a lion. Lions can eat a lot of things, but they still gotta eat zebras. You and me, we're like the zebras. In the end, he'll still have to go out and catch a zebra."

 

He let out a sigh, rubbing his temple. "It should scare me how good an analogy that was. So despite being a HORSE that eats people, he's comparable to a CAT that plays with the mouse before eating it."

 

"Yeah, that sounds about right. Trott's also not evil. He's just... Caught up in the moment while trying to survive every day."

 

There were so many questions Xephos had now, about the origins of the court, but they would have to wait. Any that would have come from his lips were stopped by the sound of shuffling at the door. Both men looked up to see Will, blanket abandoned on the sofa. "Will! You should still be laying down!" Xephos got up, going over to him.

 

Will shook his head, rubbing his face. "Need to sit up more... Tired of laying..." He went over to the table, sitting down and placing his forehead on it. "Too much laying."

 

Xephos chewed his lip, getting a third mug to make Will some tea. "How long, exactly, has he been sick?"

 

Brushing Will's hair from his face, Sips frowned. "He came home from school, early according to Trott and Ross, the other day. He's been sleeping on and off the whole time." He gave a small laugh, smiling. "Trott's been in mother hen mode the whole time, left the shop closed yesterday... Ross barely leaves his side, and Smith talks his ear off even when he's asleep."

 

As he set the cup down, Xephos blinked in surprise. "They do that? For Will?"

 

"Fae aren't all or always the monsters you think they are, Uncle Xephos..." Will sat back up, gratefully sipping the tea. As before, it hurt the back of his throat at first, then felt soothing. "They're not that different from us, just... Not the same species." How did it happen, he wondered, that one fae could be so different from the next, like a selkie compared to a dryad, and yet all considered a race like humans or dwarves?

 

Xephos could only sigh, ruffling Will's hair. "I'm having to face some prejudices today, aren't I?" He sat back down, picking up his mug as he mulled over not fae, but the specific three. "Did you save anything from the flat?"

 

Sips sat back, looking at the ceiling as he ticked things off with his fingers. "Besides our own asses? Will got his school bag, Trott grabbed his skin and some papers for the shop, Ross grabbed his book and list of churches... I got my hat. Besides that? The clothes on our backs."

 

He looked at Sips in confusion. "Ross has a book and a list of churches? What kind of book, and why does he have a list of CHURCHES?"

 

He shrugged. "He found the book in that old shop down by the river. The churches are because he's trying to find other living statues." He couldn't blame Ross, really. Being human, Sips could only imagine what it was like to feel like the only one of his kind. Even if they would shun him forever, there were always other selkies in the world besides Trott. There would always be other kelpies, too. But Ross... Ross was fairly unique.

 

Both Sips and Will jumped as Xephos let out a high-pitched sound, looking at him in confusion. Instead of saying anything, he got up and hurried down the steps to the basement.

 

Will took a drink of his tea, then looked at Sips. "Something tells me letting him know about the book was a bad idea."

 

"Yeah, probably, but that's why we have regret. Keeps life fun and interesting."

 

Honeydew hurried up the stairs, bypassing Will and Sips. He started to go up to the attic, only to stop when he realized Ross was asleep on the livingroom floor. He went in, lifting him up by the charred hoodie. "Wake up, you sodding rock!"

 

Ross blinked, confused, then looked at Honeydew in surprise. "What? What's going on? What happened?!"

 

"What HAPPENED is that you went into a bleedin' DRAGON LAIR and stole something from it! I know you're made of rock but how stupid can you GET?!" He let the hoodie go, crossing his arms. "Now we're going to have a dragon after us!"

 

"Now hold on!" Ross stood up, rising to his full height to look down at Honeydew. "Nothing stopped me, and dragons aren't real!"

 

"Mighty funny words comin' from a living statue! Why did you take that book, anyway?! There's a whole library!"

 

He stopped, frowning, then sagged. "Because I thought it might help me."

 

His anger wouldn't be quelled by a sorrowful look. "Help you WHAT? Get broken into pieces? I'm surprised you haven't been chased down yet! Lad, you have to THINK before you DO things! You've been around the kelpie too long! Spend more time with the selkie, HE thinks about consequences!"

 

Ross' frown grew, as his brow furrowed into a full-on glare. "I thought it might help me find OTHER gargoyles! If you haven't NOTICED, everybody around me is a part of a race of some sort! There's PLENTY of humans, PLENTY of dwarves, PLENTY of selkies and kelpies, but there's only ONE gargoyle! That book has a spell for enchanting things to life, so I thought, maybe, I wasn't ALONE in this world as the ONLY living statue!"

 

In the kitchen, Sips simply rubbed his thumbs on his mug, staring off at nothing, as Will did the same. Xephos had returned from the basement, staring out the window. He could hear the rest of the house stirring, the others woken up by the yelling between Ross and Honeydew, and predictably Smith, Trott, and Lalna appeared on the stairs, listening.

 

Honeydew jerked back slightly in surprise, eyes widening for a moment before softening sadly. "Oh... Ross, lad..." He motioned him closer. "Come here. Don't make me pull you down here to my level!"

 

Instead of bending down, Ross sank to his knees with a hard thud, before getting pulled into a hug.

 

One hand running over Ross' hair, Honeydew sighed. "I'm sorry, I just had me own failure to think, didn't I?" He suddenly let out a surprised sound as Smith hugged Ross from the other side, soon joined by Trott. After a moment, Sips and Will joined them, hugging onto Ross.

 

Xephos stared from the kitchen, noticing the pleading look from Honeydew. After a moment, he sighed and got up, walking over and joining them. Forehead on Honeydew's shoulder, he frowned. "Unique as you are... You DID inadvertently show me not all fae are SO bad."

 

The moment was broken, just as Lalna reached them to join the group hug, by Smith lifting his head. "Wait, you're actually going to trust ME?"

 

Trott groaned, looking up at him as Ross' tail shot up and thumped against Smith's backside. "Dammit, Smith, you just ruined the moment!"

 

* * *

 

 

A knock at the door drew Xephos from the kitchen, where he'd been sitting with Trott pouring over the book Ross had filched. When he opened the door, he practically shot out of his skin. "Lomadia!"

 

"Afternoon, Xephos. Did you forget we were going to have tea today?" She held up the box of her own tea. Behind her, Nilesy crouched on the path, watching Lyndon rub against a plant.

 

"Actually I did... I've had a busy night and morning, you could say. Um..." He stepped aside. "Please, come in. Just... Please don't be shocked by my house guests."

 

As they stepped in and removed their shoes, Nilesy pointed out the door. "Is that who the car belongs to?" And the assortment of shoes, really. He'd never seen so many shoes by the door before.

 

Lomadia looked at the shoes as she set hers down, then looked out at the car. Her eyebrows slowly rose. "Not many green cars even in this city." She looked at Xephos. "Just who are your house guests?"

 

As if to answer her question, Will poked his head out of the livingroom. "Lomadia, Nilesy! H-" His nose suddenly wrinkled and he turned away, letting out a great sneeze. Nilesy's watch gave a pop and died. Will cringed, scrubbing a sleeve against his nose. "Sorry... I've been sick. Still sick... I'm gonna go lay back down now."

 

Nilesy pouted at his watch, while Hannah stared after Will. Slowly, she turned to Xephos. "Isn't your nephew with the Garbage Court now?"

 

"Yes, yes he is."

 

"And he's HERE... Does that mean your house guests are a bunch of unruly fae?"

 

He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose for not the first time that day. "Yes. They promised, no mischief in my house. So far, they've upheld that deal." He paused, cringing. "And I think they're counting US as part of their court now."

 

"Oh, Xephos..." She sighed, walking over to him. She caught a glimpse into the livingroom, where Sips was relaxing in Xephos' recliner, Smith was sitting on the sofa, Will was using his lap as a pillow, and Ross sat on the floor by Smith's legs, all four watching the television with surprising levels of calm. "They're actually quiet... But where's the other one?"

 

Xephos motioned to the kitchen. "Ross stole from the dragon in the old shop by the river, and now we're figuring out this book he took."

 

Her eyes snapped to Xephos in surprise. "He stole from a dragon? How-"

 

"Honeydew already covered that! Come on, I'll turn on the kettle. It's about time we ALL had tea, anyway." As he walked in, he knocked on the table. "Trott, this is Lomadia. Lomadia, this is Trott."

 

Trott looked up, eyes magnified by his glasses for a moment. They returned to a normal size as he adjusted them, then held his hand out. "Good day."

 

There was the barest hint of hesitation as Lomadia took his hand, shaking it. "Hello. What's this book you have?"

 

He motioned to it, then pushed it over. "I think it's actually older than Ross is." He took his glasses off, rubbing his face. "It's full of spells that I'm not sure ANYBODY can do. The only people left that are anywhere NEAR this old are all fae, and somehow whoever wrote these faeproofed them!"

 

Taking a seat, she looked at the page the book was open to. Her brow furrowed, lips pressed together. "Interesting... How, though? How do you fae proof a SPELL?"

 

"Good fucking question."

 

She gave him a sharp look. "Well somebody has a strong tongue."

 

"Blame Smith." He accepted the cup Xephos handed him. "Thank you."

 

Accepting her own cup, she looked up at Trott again as Xephos left the room to take tea to the others. "You seem to be quite alright accepting things from him."

 

Trott shrugged, sipping his tea after adding sugar and cream to it. "We've not let Will die yet, and the alternative is he winds up in the horned shitlord's court... And debts to HIM are more dangerous. With us, though..." He set the mug back down. "Will's on something of the same level as us, but like a kid brother. If that makes any sense..."

 

She regarded him, then turned back to the book. Notcing the card, she placed her hand on the current page and opened the book to the marked page. "What's this one?"

 

"That's the spell that brought Ross to life. It's the only reason I think this is older than him." He rested his chin on his palm, staring at the ornate writing and art on the pages. "He sees it as hope to find other gargoyles... It's only left questions for me. Who wrote this? Why did they write it? How did it survive this long? Ross has to be almost a thousand years old, maybe more. Books don't survive nearly that long."

 

Xephos returned, tilting his head at Trott's words as he made his own cup of tea. "Maybe there's magic in the book itself." He took a seat, one long finger tapping the mug in thought. "It could also be what stops fae from casting the spells. Any book that has a spell to bring stone to life has other spells well worth protecting from naughty, vengeful or dark fae."

 

As the three contemplated the book, lost in figuring it out over tea, Nilesy peeked into the livingroom. The idea of being in the room with two fae made him more than uneasy, and he wasn't keen on going in. Lyndon let out a meow, causing him to look down. If he didn't know any better, the cat had rolled his eyes at him!

 

And then Lyndon, clearly fed up with the hesitation, waltzed on into the livingroom, jumping on the couch and curling up on Will. Smith and Ross looked at the cat, blinking in surprise, while Will smiled and simply started scratching his ears. "Well hello, Lyndon! Come to watch Monty Python with us?" The reply he got was a happy chirping meow.

 

Nilesy hesitated, before giving in and walking in. He sat down on the floor near Will's feet, as far away from Ross as he could manage. He clutched the mug he'd been handed by Xephos in passing, trying his best to relax. But how could he? There were fae in the house, and nobody seemed to care. Not even Lomadia seemed to care!

 

Something poking him broke him from his thoughts, and it took all of his effort to not jump when he noticed the spade of the glass tail poking his hip. He followed it to the owner, gripping his cup slightly tighter to find Ross' eyes on him.

 

He tilted his head, regarding Nilesy with curiosity. Ross glanced up at Smith and Will, before scooting closer. He offered a smile, a freindly gesture of peace. "Hello, Nilesy."

 

Nilesy could only force a smile, letting go of his mug to offer a wave.

 

Ross thumbed over to the recliner. "If it'll make you more comfortable, you can sit by Sips. Completely plain oatmeal human."

 

Sips sat up, frowning at Ross. "Did you just call me PLAIN OATMEAL?"

 

"Yeah, what's it to you?"

 

He shrugged. "I dunno, I thought I'd be something a bit more interesting... Like blueberry."

 

On the sofa, Will lifted his hand, pointing at nothing in particular. "You ARE a blueberry, Sips." Smith and Ross snickered, grins on their faces.

 

Sips let out a huff, then motioned Nilesy over, leaning enough to pat the floor by the chair. "Come on, Ross can't bug you over here."

 

First shooting a glance at Ross, Nilesy got up and hurried over, sitting on the floor by the chair. He blinked as a hand ruffled his hair, before looking up at Sips. "What was that for?"

 

"Oh, you DO talk!" Sips held his hands up, smiling in that Dad way. "Sorry, used to Ross. He likes his head scratched. Kinda like a dog or cat."

 

"Oh. Okay.."

 

The room settled into silence, punctuated only by snickers and laughter at a skit, or Will coughing or sneezing.

 

* * *

 

 

Will stared at his bed, the once-sturdy metal frame bent in the middle. "How did you manage to DO that?!"

 

Ross rubbed his shoulder, smiling sheepishly. "Well... Smith hit me with a pillow because I was snoring, and he wanted to sleep in, so I went to hit him back, and instead I hit Trott, who aimed to hit ME and got Sips instead, and... Well..."

 

He stared at the bed, then looked at Ross. "I guess we're piling up on the floor now, then." He was tired of sleeping on the couch. His nose was still stuffed up, sure, but by the end of the night, his coughing and sneezing had tapered off. Now he only had to deal with blowing his nose ten thousand times a day. He couldn't make anybody sick now, could he?

 

Lalna's head poked up through the opening for the stairs, arm sticking up shortly after to wave at them. "Hey, lunch is ready if you'll get down stairs!" He made a face. "Who knew kelpies ate so much?"

 

Will let out a laugh. "You haven't seen Ross eat!" He ducked the playful shove, hurrying after Lalna. "I haven't talked to Lalna Coffee in a while, how's he been lately?"

 

Lalna shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck. "Still with Nano. He seems happy enough, but I don't think he likes having to take her tree's leaves to the fae of the city. It'd make ME nervous, too."

 

Scrubbing his jumper sleeve against his nose, Will descended the stairs after Lalna. The idea that his cousins were nervous around fae really didn't surprise him. After all, like any human or dwarf, the idea to not trust fae had been pounded into their heads practically since birth. The rules of interacting with fae had included to never offend them, something he'd found himself regularly doing with Smith and Ross. Insults were traded between them like Sips' hockey cards. A mortal was also to never accept food or gifts from fae, something he was now regularly doing, accepting food from both Trott and Ross. He'd also found himself trusting all their smiles, more and more, and his own uncle had invited them into his home.

 

Not for the first time, Will DID wonder if he would regret this all.

 

Everybody else was already at the table eating when Lalna, Will, and Ross walked in. As they sat down, Ross on the floor to keep the chair from breaking, Trott pulled out the paper Ross had written a list of churches on. "Tomorrow, Ross, we're going to go look at some of these while we look for a new place."

 

Ross' face brightened as he sat up straighter, looking up at Trott with what had to be the biggest grin he'd ever had. Lalna looked at them funny, picking up his sandwhich. "What are they?"

 

Peeking over the table, Ross frowned. "Churches. Seeing if one has another gargoyle."

 

"Oh..." He fidgetted, remembering the yelling match the morning before with Ross and Honeydew. Suddenly he felt bad asking about it. "I hope you find one. It'd suck to be the only one of your kind." He couldn't entirely imagine. No matter how far apart they were, he'd still have Lalna Coffee.

 

Honeydew leaned over, looking at the list, then pointed to one seemingly at random. "I think that one's for sale."

 

Trott looked at him funny, frowning. "Why would humans build something to WORSHIP in, and then sell it after dedicating it to their god?" He shook his head, then took out a pencil to mark the church with a question of buying it. "Just hope it's not in the shitlord's territory..."

 

* * *

 

 

Unfortunately, it was. Trott stared up at the old building, in far better condition than Ross' church had been, but still well within the boundaries of Kirin's territory. He frowned, hands in his pockets. "If this one had a gargoyle, the shitlord probably took it already. Or worse."

 

Beside him, Ross huffed. "I'm still going to look!" He approached the church, determined to find out. As he touched the gate, though, he let out a hiss of pain, retracting his hand. He turned it over, staring at the ugly welts that had appeared.

 

Trott walked up, looking, then took Ross' hand to examine it. "That's new..." He poked one of the welts, then let go as the hand was yanked away. Ross let out another hiss of pain, clutching his hand close.

 

A pebble bounced off Trott's head, making him turn and look. On one of the stone parts of the wall sat a small blonde boy. He smiled at them, then wagged a finger. "THIS church is fae proof! Iron EVERYWHERE!"

 

Rubbing his head where the pebble had bounced, more to get rid of the feeling than because it hurt, Trott scowled at the boy. "We can SEE that." He leaned slightly, noting the pointed ears. "And what about YOU?"

 

The boy let out a laugh, hugging himself around the waist. "I'M not stupid enough to touch the iron bars!"

 

Ross promptly went rigid, before diving at the boy. "I'll make you eat shit for that!"

 

The boy simply stood up and hopped to another section of the wall, laughing. "Aren't YOU a naughty gargoyle! The others'd be so unhappy to hear YOUR blasphemous mouth!"

 

The words made both Ross and Trott stop, staring at the boy. Trott walked over, staring up at him. "Wait, you've met other gargoyles?"

 

He sat down on the stone wall portion, hands on his knees. "Of course I have! I've met EVERYBODY in the city!" He hopped down, then grinned up at Trott, holding out his little hand. "You can just call me Martyn!"

 

Trott crouched down, shaking his hand. "Trott. My friend there is Ross."

 

"Oooh, he has a NAME? They don't usually have NAMES!"

 

Now Trott was really curious. "So some of them DO have names? Do you think you could tell us which churches they're at?" He took out the list, showing Martyn.

 

Instead of looking at it, Martyn pulled down one eyelid, closing his other eye and sticking his tongue out. "Can't do a favor without a favor!"

 

He sighed, hanging his head a moment, then looked back up. "Okay, and what do you want in exchange?"

 

Martyn was thoughtful for a whole thirty seconds, before pointing at Trott. "I want in YOUR court!"

 

"No way!" Ross' taill lashed, just missing hitting the lower stone of the wall. "You're nothing but a nuisance!"

 

He crossed his arms, looking Ross defiantly in the eyes. "No change of court, not telling which churches have gargoyles!"

 

"But-"

 

"Fine, it's a deal."

 

"TROTT!"

 

Trott shot Ross a look. "You wanted to know so badly if there's other living statues like you, he knows where they are without having to look at every single church. And given what territory we're in, I think it's pretty safe to guess WHO he's wanting away from."

 

Martyn nodded, then shoved his hands in his pockets. "He promised safety, but he holds your debts over your head far past what he should. Doesn't lie, but he tricks other fae into staying. Told me if I wanted out, I'd have to find another court that would take me, and yours is the only one NOT in his web."

 

He gave a snort of laughter, standing up. "Isn't that the damn truth... We've been pissing on his parade since the start." Looking at the list of churches, Trott put it in his pocket. "Come on, no sense in staying here. We should return... Well, to our base of operations." He paused. "I'm sure Xephos wouldn't mind ONE more fae in his house..."

 

As they started walking, Ross couldn't help but grouse. Eventually, though, he warmed up, and by the time they got back to their temporary home, Martyn was on his shoulders.

 

* * *

 

 

As soon as Honeydew saw Martyn, he let out what had to be the highest squeal of delight anybody'd ever heard, and the highest Xephos had heard in a LONG time. "AAAAAH, he's ADORABLE!" There wasn't even an official invitation, he simply scooped Martyn up and carried him in. "Come here, let Uncle Honeydew get you some biscuits and chocolate milk!"

 

Xephos gripped his hair, chasing after him. "Now hold on, you don't even know anything about him! Just because he's a child doesn't mean he's any less dangerous!"

 

Trott rubbed his head. "Most dangerous thing he did was throw a pebble at me, and call Ross blasphemous." Really, the second had been more dangerous. Either it would have ended with Martyn run through with Ross' tail, or Ross run through with iron bars. Both prospects, truthfully, terrified him, since the former would call down the rage of the horned shitlord more than stealing somebody from his court would, and the latter would mean no more Ross. "What was MORE dangerous, though, was the iron around the church we stopped at."

 

Xephos poked his head out of the kitchen, brow furrowed. "I've never heard of a church keeping fae out with iron."

 

"Neither did Ross, and look what it did to his hand." He gave Ross a nudge, "Show him your hand, sunshine."

 

Reluctantly, Ross turned his palm up to show Xephos. When one of the welts was poked at, he hissed and jerked it back. "That hurts!"

 

"I imagine it would..." He looked Ross over, taking in everything about him. "I didn't know you felt physical pain, though."

 

"I do, but..." He looked at his hand. "It's not usually quite like this."

 

He crossed his harms, tapping long fingers against his upper arm in thought, then ushered Ross into the kitchen. "Come on, let me see if I can patch that up for you. You can pay me back by weeding the garden when you're healed."

 

Ross looked at his hand again, then up at Xephos. He gave a nod, following him. It was a fair enough trade, help for help. His hand could probably be healed on its own time, but Xephos helping would mean less risk of the stone starting to rot.

 

Martyn sat on the table, legs dangling as he ate a large bisquit. It was too big for one hand, which meant he had to hold it with both as he watched. There'd been no smaller biscuits, but he was happy for the alternative. Honeydew sat a cup of chocolate milk down next to him, then took a seat with his own tea. "Didn't know stone could get blisters like that."

 

Xephos let out a sound, carefully working on Ross' hand. "He shouldn't be ABLE to blister like this." He gingerly wrapped the blistered hand up. "Even just iron shouldn't do this." His gaze turned to Martyn, frowning. "What do you know about that particular church's iron bars?"

 

Large blue eyes blinked, before a smile spread across Martyn's face. "Nothing's free! Especially information!" He turned at a tap on the shoulder, smiling ever so sweetly at Honeydew.

 

"Lad, you got chocolate milk and a cookie, nothing's free."

 

He opened his mouth to protest, then stuck his tongue out. "Tricky dwarf!" He then scootched back a bit further on the table, crossing his legs. "The gargoyle's got a curse!"

 

In the living room, even Sips jumped at the string of curses coming from the combined voices of Trott, Xephos, and Honeydew. He glanced at Smith and Will, then got up and went to the kitchen, peeking in. "Is everything alright in here?"

 

"NO everything's not alright!" Trott shot Ross a glare, not relenting even as he shrank down in shame. "Because Ross stole from a dragon, he's got some sort of curse and I don't even know what it DOES!"

 

Pushing his hat back, Sips cringed. "Ross, you big dumby... Can't we just, I don't know, return what he stole?"

 

Xephos sat down, face in his hands. "That doesn't mean the curse will be broken!"

 

Ross stared at his bandaged hand, frowning. "What if it's making me... Not stone?" On one hand, he was curious about what that would be like, to not be enchanted stone but actual flesh and blood. It would mean he could heal like everybody else, no more finding rocks to patch himself up, and not have to worry about chipping or breaking on the pavement from falling even one floor. But on the other hand, it would mean he would be far more fragile, bleeding real blood and feeling actual hunger that needed taking care of and, worst of all, smelling like that one bum that lived in the alley two blocks from their former home. But then it would also mean he could sit on furniture without fear of breaking it... Many thoughts filled his head on the pros and cons.

 

Trott stared at him, frowning. "I really don't know how to respond to that..." What would a Ross NOT made of stone be like? Did he want to find out? He glanced at Martyn. "You seem to have all the answers, do YOU know what kind of curse it is?"

 

"Of course I don't, I'm just not stupid enough to NOT know a curse when I see one!" He finished his cookie, sucking crumbs off his fingers.

 

For the first time, Sips noticed Martyn, pointing at him. "Who's the kid and why'd HE get a cookie?"

 

Letting out a sigh, Trott sat down across from Xephos. "Ross and I found him at a church in the little horned shitlord's territory. He wanted out, we gave him an out and brought him home."

 

"And what's he giving in exchange for you bringing him home?" He circled the table, looking Martyn over. It seemed there was an abundance of the combination of blonde hair and blue eyes in the city... This made the fourth person he'd met, human or fae, with such a pairing.

 

Clasping his ankles, Martyn leaned back with a grin. "I know where all the living gargoyles are! That was the deal, I get to join your court, I tell where gargoyles are!"

 

Sips was quiet for a moment, before he shrugged. "Okay. Just don't go causing trouble, we're guests in the neighborhood until we find a new home."

 

His big grin was replaced by a frown, brow furrowing. "Why are you looking for a new home?"

 

"Because ours went up in flames."

 

"Oh..." There was a pause, before Martyn asked, "Did HE send fae to do it?"

 

On the floor, Ross' tail twitched. "No, Will's a technomancer, and he's sick. Our place wasn't magicked against it, so he sneezed and the cooker shorted out. All an accident, nothing more." His tail twitched again. He got up, heading for the living room. "I should go make sure he's okay..."

 

Curiosity of youth took over as Martyn climbed off the table, hurrying after Ross. "I wanna meet him, too!"

 

Sips watched them go. "Okay, maybe he won't be SO bad to have around..."

 

Honeydew grabbed the plate and cup Martyn had been using. "Adorable is what he is. By the time you all leave, he'll be plump as a little dwarf!"

 

Trott couldn't help snorting with a laugh, "Sips and Smith'll be fatter, too..."

 

Will pushed himself up slightly and stared as Ross walked in, trailed by Martyn. "Hi there? Who are you?"

 

Ross took up his usual spot on the floor by Smith's feet, his lap quickly taken up. "This is Martyn. He's joined our court in exchange for knowledge of other living statues in the city."

 

Smith made a face. "Kids are a pain. Little twats..." His leg got a thump of Ross' tail. "What?"

 

"Be nice, he's not SO bad." Ross glared at Smith for a moment, then looked at the telly. The news was on, nothing particularly exciting, but entertaining enough to watch. He soon had two different hands running through his hair, prompting him to let out a happy sound.

 

When Sips returned to the living room, he found all four asleep, Martyn having climbed up to sleep in the bend of Will's knees. He let out a quiet chuckle, taking the remote from the coffee table to change the channel to something else.

 

* * *

 

 

A loud honk punctuated the otherwise quiet air in the car. Smith did his best to not look in the back, where Will sat with a trash bag and several boxes of tissue. Ross pulled one out of a box, offering it to him. "New tissue?"

 

"Thanks." He accepted it, blowing his nose again, then gave a sniff. "I hate this part of being sick... I swear I spend a week blowing my nose."

 

In the front, Smith made a sound. "It's disgusting, is what it is."

 

"Yeah, and nobody likes it." He looked out the window, watching the city melt in and out of view. "At least this church is outside the horned shitlord's territory..."

 

On the other side of the seat, Ross shifted, looking at his hand. Despite the ointments Xephos had put on it, the bandage was still in place, blisters still evident. "And Martyn said there should still be a gargoyle here..." When the list had been made, Martyn admitted that some of them he hadn't been to in a while. Who knew how many were actually left of the few listed?

 

A hand appeared in Ross' line of vision, taking the one he held up and rubbing a thumb over the top. He looked over at Will, blinking. "Hey, I'm sure it'll be fine. Just you wait and see!"

 

"God I hope so..."

 

The church came into view, much larger than Ross' old home. Where his had been small and cozy, more of a small parish church, this one was more of a 'baby' cathedral. It stood above many of the buildings around it, the grounds stretching for several meters in each direction from the walls. Smith pulled into the parking lot, cracked and weathered but in otherwise good condition.

 

As they got out, they took in the fact that the grounds actually had some level of care given to them. While the building looked weathered, it was evident somebody cared deeply about it, and as they approached, Smith began to get uncomfortable. "Still some strong magic on this door..."

 

Ross tilted his head, looking at the door, then reached up and touched it. "I don't feel anything pushing me away... More of a pull, really."

 

"That's probably because you were part of a church." Will looked up at the building, then tested the doors. They opened with surprising ease and little protest. "You can take the gargoyle out of the church, but you can't take the church out of the gargoyle."

 

Following him in, Ross' tail curled upwards into a loop behind him before going the other direction. "Poetic words there."

 

"It's a variation of what Uncle Honeydew says about dwarves. You can take them out of the mine..." He looked around, taking in the stained glass windows, sparkling in the weak sunlight. "Was your church this impressive...?"

 

Ross tossed one shoe away, then the other. "Nowhere near. But..." His fingers flexed, before he started climbing up the wall. "Still feeling right at home."

 

On the other side of the door, Smith stood with his arms crossed. "Happy you two are having fun, but it's a tad nippy out here."

 

Turning around, Will beconned him inside. "Well get in here! I'm in here, I'm inviting you!"

 

"Mate, do you have any idea how invitations actually WORK?" He motioned to the doors. "Only somebody who actually BELONGS here can invite me in! Like at your uncle's house, you couldn't invite us in, one of your uncles or your cousin would have to. That's the rules, that's how it works."

 

"Oh..." He'd taken for granted, at some point, the idea that fae had to be invited into some places. Homes, places of worship, some businesses, most office buildings... He was so used to going places fae needed no invitation, it'd ceased to be a Thing in his mind.

 

Ross dropped down next to Will, walking out and grabbing Smith. "Well I was meant for a church, and I'm inviting your sorry ass in! Get in here!" The barrier let Smith through, accepting enough of Ross' invitation over Will's.

 

Smith closed the door behind them, shutting out the chill of the air. Any sounds from outside were left on the other side, the building filled with an eerie quiet. Ross went back up the wall, going back to his explorations in the manner he knew best, while Smith and Will walked up the center aisle.

 

Nothing in the building was covered in dust, and yet from the way the pipes on the grand old pipe organ were rusted, it was evident that nobody had actively worshipped in the building for some time. It hadn't been empty nearly as long as Ross' church, closed long after the Garbage Court had gained their king, but it was still no longer giving services. At the altar, they split up, going different ways to look around.

 

High above, Ross walked along walls with the confidence he'd had walking on his crumbling walls. He could feel it in the stones, where they were safe to step, what could give under his weight. The answer was that everything was still sound, nothing would give. It filled him with pleasure, immense and deep.

 

The beeping of his watch told him the hour, moments before the bell in the tower began to ring. He looked in the general direction, deeply confused, before climbing back down to a side door. As he climbed up the outside walls, he heard the bell continue to ring, the illusion that the building still mattered to the people around it.

 

As he walked along the roof, the bell getting louder, he thought he saw movement in the tower. Somebody was in there, actively ringing the bell. He worried that perhaps the church wasn't nearly as abandoned as they'd thought, still tended to by some priest or monk, waiting for interest to return in worshipping.

 

Silent as he'd been when his church had been in use, Ross inched closer to the tower. The ringing had ceased, replaced by the shuffling of feet. He ducked down, pressing his back to an outer wall of the tower, looking up to see if whoever was in it would come out.

 

His patience was rewarded, and Ross had to bite his tongue to keep from gasping as another gargoyle hopped out onto the ledge. Whoever had been in posession of the church before it closed had clearly known about the gargoyle, as he wore clothing, even if a bit dated by then. Honey-gold glass horns curved back from the scalp, the base just behind the hairline, and a matching glass tail, ending in what he could only describe as a pair of outward-facing boomerangs, curled around a beam on the tower as he stared out at the world beyond the home he was confined to.

 

Ross hadn't been aware he was staring until gold-brown eyes were suddenly staring right into his own blue. The second gargoyle seemed to think about this stranger on his roof, before letting go of the beam and dropping down. Ross stood up, tail twitching violently enough to get stuck in the stone, causing him to panic as he tugged at it. "Come on, let GO!"

 

He stopped at a chuckle, as the honey-gold gargoyle walked over, giving the tail a gentle tug free. "You should be careful, friend. And you must tell me... How are you at my church?"

 

Ross stared, then shrugged as impassively as he could muster. "A fae burned my church down, so I'm a free-roaming gargoyle now. You're... Not too surprised or bothered by me being here, are you?"

 

"No. I am, frankly, more bothered by the kelpie you let in, but he's behaving so far." He walked toward the edge of the roof, swinging down and descending the wall. When they were both on the ground, he offered his hand. "I am Zylush."

 

He took the hand, giving it a firm shake. "Ross. So... You're alone here, aren't you? And your people knew about you..."

 

"I'm not alone, though." He opened the side door, walking in and holding it for Ross. "I have the Saints with me, every day. They're quiet, but they keep me company."

 

A pang filled Ross' chest as he looked at Zylus with sorrow. "I was the same, once... When people left my church." He shoved his hands in his pants pockets, frowning. "A bomb fell on it, and people came back long enough to get it, and then just... Never came back. Nobody fixed it." Bitterness filled his voice as he practically spat out, "They abandoned it, and abandoned me."

 

Zylus' tail twitched, before he sighed, shoulders sagging. "I'm sorry you feel that way, Ross." He went up to the pipe organ, running a finger over it. "They closed this cathedral because they weren't getting enough donations to maintain it. Not enough people were coming anymore, mass just didn't cover it... So what few were left were sent to other churches, and the clergy bid me farewell. Yes, they knew about me, I was friends with many, watched monks grow into archdecons and one cardinal..." He let out a laugh, smiling fondly. "They did eventually find me... INDECENT, and insisted I wear clothing. I can't say I ENTIRELY dislike it, it's quite stylish."

 

Before either could continue their conversation, Smith walked back in. "Ross, I'm sorry, I didn't find any gargoyles." He was looking up at the windows, admiring the stained glass again. "That one reminds me of the glass leading to your-" He turned around, stopping as he noticed Zylus. "Hi."

 

Zylus' eyebrow went up. "Hello, kelpie." He turned and looked at Ross. "Glass leading to your...?" He let out a whistle, pointing down and spinning his finger.

 

Ross sighed, closing his eyes. "Yes..." He held up his hands. "You caught me, I've been a sinful gargoyle."

 

"I see..." He turned his attention to Smith, looking him over. After a moment, he shrugged. "Lucifer was said to be attractive."

 

Smith's eyebrows wiggled as he grinned. "What, you wanna ride the pony?"

 

"I said attractive, I didn't say I wanted to do INDECENT THINGS with you." He made a face, tail flicking. "You may have corrupted him, but I am not so easily tempted."

 

Ross let out a huff, then turned as Will rejoined them. "We found the gargoyle. The people who had this church knew about him."

 

Will looked him over, eyebrows up. "He looks like his clothes stepped out of the 70's..."

 

Zylus could only shrug. "I suppose you could say that. It's been a while since I got new clothes." He then offered his hand to Will, offering a smile. "I am Zylus."

 

"Pleasure to meet you, Zylus, I'm Will." As he retracted his hand, he contemplated Zylus, looking him over and taking in the honey-gold of his glass features. "You have an interesting accent, it's not one I hear around this city often."

 

"That'd be because of the people I learned from. They came from north-east of here." He gestured in some vague direction, not entirely sure himself if it was the right one. Then, not seeming to mind all the company, Zylus walked over to the door to the deacon's office. "To be frank, I'm amazed that any others have survived."

 

As they followed him, Ross couldn't help frowning. "Is it uncommon, for living gargoyles to survive this long?"

 

"Humans are fickle at the best of times. Many a gargoyle has fallen to the very hands that made them." He glanced at Smith. "Fae also cause problems. I am both intrigued and pleased by the fact you were, ah... Freed, by a fae, and taken in by him."

 

Smith could only shrug. "I like pretty things, I can't help it. Always had a habit of collecting people I like." He looked at Ross, eyes flicking from his little glass horns to the tip of his tail. "And I really liked Ross. Not many could scare the piss out of me enough to GALLOP out a building."

 

Will stopped, looking at Smith. "You GALLOPED out?"

 

"Yup, Trott and I were checking out the church, and got close to a door in the back... Suddenly it flies open, and out charges what we later found out was a gargoyle. No lie, I went from this to horse in seconds flat with Trott on my back and fled down the street. Had to go back later for my car." He trusted Will wouldn't tell anybody. The worst he'd probably do was ask Trott how scared he'd been. A laugh from Ross prompted him to flip him off. "Oh, shut up!"

 

* * *

 

 

While Smith, Ross, and Will were busy chasing shadows, Trott had gone off to attend to his shop. It couldn't stay closed forever while they sorted their lives back out, after all. Sips and Martyn were left with Xephos and family, helping in the back garden.

 

Martyn tugged on a weed, trying to get it out of the ground. "Come on, let go!"

 

Sips chuckled, reaching over with a trowel. "You gotta dig it out first, when they're tough like this."

 

Over the wall, a voice, a slight laugh evident in it, carried over, "Spoken like somebody who's owned a home!"

 

Sips looked up, and had to blink. "Um, hi... You have wings."

 

"I have a tail, too!" Mostly to show off, a lion tail lifted up, waving merrily. "Name's Tom, Xephos' neighbor."

 

"Hello, Tom, I'm-"

 

"Sips, King of the Garbage Court! Your court and its reputation precedes you." He grinned, a big toothy grin. They were the teeth of a predator, reminding Sips in the most absolutely unsettling way of Smith. It gave him the willies.

 

"Right..." He turned to Xephos, who was coming out of the house with some plants in pots. "Hey, I thought you didn't like fae, and you have one right next door."

 

Xephos let out a huff. "I didn't say I didn't LIKE fae, I said I didn't TRUST them. ESPECIALLY kelpies that could eat my nephew at a moment's notice. You don't see me dragging my son away from the dryad he ran off with, do you?" He put the plants down, brushing his hands off. "Good morning, Tom."

 

"Morning, Xephos!" Tom gave him a little salute, still grinning. "Wasn't really aware you were hosting the Garbage Court. What brings them knocking on the Communion's door and actually in your house? You don't even let ME in!"

 

He crossed his arms, giving Tom a smile. "Because out of all the fae in the world, I know sphinx are the most tricky to deal with." He bent down, starting to dig a hole for one of the flowers. "Will caught a cold, and they were unprepared. He sneezed, an appliance blew, and now they have no other home."

 

"Well that's a shame." Tom crossed his arms, leaning on the wall. His wings twitched a bit, in thought, then pointed to Martyn. "Never heard of the Garbage Court recruiting so young, though."

 

Sips looked at Martyn, who was tugging on a new weed. It gave at ground level with a dull snap, sending him tumbling back. "He's a new addition, call it stealing from the little horned shitlord."

 

Tom's eyebrows went up, causing his glasses to slide down slightly. He pushed them back up his nose. "Stealing from a sidhe lord... Not what I'd call smart."

 

"Trust me, this is the least of our offenses against His Shitness."

 

He let out a snort of amusement, then stood up. "Well, good luck in your hunt for a new house. And avoiding... His Shitness." He turned, heading back to his house. He paused, though, turning back. "Would any of you like to come over for tea later?"

 

Xephos shook his head. "I'm fine. But you can come round later to ask again when the others get back." He looked to Sips, who shrugged.

 

"I'll come if Trott comes."

 

"Good, I'll come check about... Four." He gave a wave, then folded his wings up to fit through the door, just avoiding closing it on his tail.

 

Planting one of the flowers, Xephos let out a sigh. "Always unnerves me, turning down tea with Tom..."

 

"Because most fae are easy to offend?" He dug a hole, then scooted down to start a new one.

 

"Yes... I always worry I'll decline on the wrong day, and I'll have claws coming at me." He planted the second flowering bush, then grabbed one of the last four in the tray, sitting back as he waited for Sips to finish digging the hole. "I wasn't joking about sphinx being the trickiest of fae..."

 

Sips finished the hole and started on a new one, shrugging. "Didn't think you were. Remember, I live with three fae." He paused, glancing at Martyn. "Well, four now, I guess. But my point is, I know how fae are. I do have one question, though."

 

"And what's that?"

 

"He called this the Communion... I never saw a sign about that when we came in." He stabbed the trowel into the dirt, then looked at Xephos. "Unless you named your house or something."

 

Xephos let out a laugh, going to work again planting one of the small bushes. "No, not my house... Or the entire neighborhood. We're..." He paused, think of how to word it. "We're not so keen, on how fae control the city, and how most of the courts still answer to ONE court, so why even HAVE courts?" He shoved dirt into the hole, pausing partway to add water. "Granted, there's countless smaller courts, just trying to scrape by, don't even know what they call themselves... And then there's yours."

 

The Garbage Court defied what was expected by the Communion of what the fae courts were and DID. The big courts all still answered to the Storm Court, just extensions of it through out the city, like a web to snare unsuspecting fae new to the city. They would join what they thought was the safety of a smaller court, only to find they were right under Kirin's thumb for the rest of their lives.

 

And then there was the Garbage Court, flying in the face of everything everybody knew about fae and their courts, with their purloined gargoyle and human king they all followed willingly. They answered to nobody but themselves and each other, like a big walking middle finger to Kirin and his network. How a selkie and a kelpie had ended up together, and how they got a human king, or even how they got ANY fae following them, remained a mystery.

 

And Xephos' nephew had joined them.

 

Sips could only grin, digging yet another new hole. "Yeah, well... Trott and Smith didn't like how His Big Shitness ran things and decided to make their own court... Ross said the name started as an insult they embraced. They took the name Garbage Court, and claimed it." He finished the hole, starting the last one. "And then, this newly minted court got tasked with making the yearly Saturnalia sacrifice. They spent a good part of the year looking for the saddest, most pathetic human they could... And they found me."

 

Xephos eyed him, frowning. "But you're not DEAD."

 

"Of course I'm not. They liked me too much to get rid of me, so they flipped His Shitness a big 'fuck you' and we carried on as a four-man court. I guess it impressed a LOT of courtless fae that we had the balls to do that, right in his face, and next thing we know, we got fae wanting to join!" He pointed with his trowel at Martyn. "And that's the latest one!"

 

Martyn had managed to climb a large old oak tree growing in the garden, sitting on a branch quite happily. Xephos stared up at him, then turned back to planting. "What kind of fae is he, anyway...? I don't think fae that young can use glamour..."

 

"No idea, I think he's an elf or something."

 

* * *

 

 

Trott returned to their temporary home first, sitting down at the kitchen table and placing his forehead on it. "I think... I'm going to take a vacation after this all."

 

Honeydew looked up from the paper he'd been reading, blinking. "What, busy day in your shop?"

 

"Of course. It's been closed for three days, and people get antsy when they can't get Fluffy or Fido that PERFECT toy or accessory." He lifted his head, placing it in his hands. "Three days, that's all the shop was closed for! It's like the world ENDED!"

 

He blinked, getting up to get tea going. "Just what kind of shop do you HAVE, mate?"

 

"Oh, it's a pet shop... Smith's idea. Started as a way to garner debts, but shortly after opening... It stopped being that." He looked out the window, watching a neighbor walking their dog. He wrinkled his nose. "Learned fast that pet owners can be some of the most pretentious pricks and the vanity of the fae hold not even a MATCH to rich pet owners."

 

Honeydew let out a laugh, turning the kettle off. "Well, when people spend more on their dog than they do on their HOUSE, of course they're going to spoil their dog!" He set tea down for both of them, returning to his seat.

 

The front door opened, filling the house with the racaous noise of three bodies practically tripping over each other to take their shoes off. Ross, free of his shoes, hurried into the kitchen, skidding slightly to hug Trott from behind. "Trott, Trott, we found one! We found another gargoyle!"

 

"Good on you, sunshine!" He gave Ross' hand a pat, then started to reach for a discarded section of the newspaper. His hand stopped, hovering over it. "You found another gargoyle... Another LIVING gargoyle?"

 

"Yes! And he's NOT naked!"

 

There was a sputter and cough from Honeydew, who looked at Ross incredulously. "WHY is that an important thing?!"

 

Moseying into the kitchen, Smith ruffled Ross' hair. "He was stark naked when we found him, that's why. Stark naked, no name, no MANNERS..."

 

Trott gave Smith a flat look. "Not that you're one to talk about manners."

 

"Hey, I have manners!"

 

"I've seen trees with more manners."

 

Smith turned and glared at Will. "Nobody asked you."

 

Will grinned, holding his hands up. "Open-air statements are invitation enough for anybody to respond."

 

Ross glared at both of them. "Oh shut up, both of you! Let me have my happy moment without bickering!" He took a seat on the floor by Trott, smiling as he lay his cheek on his knee. "He wasn't angry, you know. About me. He was quite nice!"

 

Running his fingers through Ross' short hair, Trott chuckled. "Not bothered by your foul mouth, sinful acts, or who you're around, eh?"

 

"No! He was more bothered with Smith being around. I guess he was worried his church would be burned down." He shifted, hugging Trott's leg.

 

Will took a seat, crossing his arms on the table. "The clergy knew about him and named him, clothed him... He's been taking care of the church in their absence since it closed." He let out a sigh, smiling a bit. "It's beautiful in there, you should see it."

 

Trott took a sip of his tea, humming. "I think I'd like that... Haven't been in a church that's NOT half destroyed and rotting away since we left the moores."

 

There was a lull from Will as he stared at Trott, then looked at Smith, before turning back to Trott. "The moores?"

 

Smith thumbed vaguely to the north. "Yeah, we came into the city from out on the moores. My mum and nan are still up there, hunting like kelpies did long before trains, cars, and electricity existed. Mum moved me there when I was still about..." He held his hand perpendicular to the floor, moving it up and down for a moment before settling on a point halfway up his rib cage. "This tall. Still all gangly legs and all that."

 

Will was confused, ready to ask about that, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his still-confused gaze to Honeydew. "What?"

 

He didn't look at Will, instead staring at Smith. "Your mum moved you a lot, I take it."

 

"Yeah, villagers kept gettin' smart about that pretty white mare in the pond or river and the foal bouncing around at her knees." He gave an impassive shrug, then took the remaining seat at the table. "Can't say I missed moving around."

 

Honeydew placed his hands on the table, stretching them out wide. "Well, the important bit right now is that you're here, enjoying your lives." He got up, getting a stool to get in the freezer. "By the way, lads, how do you feel about sphinx?"

 

Smith and Trott sat up, while Ross peeked over the table, his brow furrowed. "What do sphinx have to do with anything?"

 

Will eyed Honeydew for a moment, then turned back to the other three. "The guy next door, Tom, is a sphinx. He invites Uncle Xephos to tea at least once a week, but he's always turned down."

 

"Right, right, and he asked again today while they were out in the garden." He dug around for a moment in the freezer, contemplating dinner options for the night. "Sips said he'd go only if you go, Trott. Anybody feel like tilapia for dinner?" He pulled out a frozen pack, turning it over.

 

Trott's nose wrinkled. "Fresh is far better than frozen, the ice destroys the flavor and makes it taste more like freezer burn." He was of the solid opinion that only certain things should ever touch the space within the freezer, and those were generally deserts, ice, popsicles, and pre-made frozen pizzas. He sipped his cup of tea, looking out the window. Indeed, there was a sphinx walking along the sidewalk, whistling merrily. Even glamoured to hide his features, Trott knew what he was looking at. Fae saw through each other's faquades easily. "I suppose I'm up for tea with the neighbor..."

 

Smith held his hand up, a frown on his face. "You and Sips are free to go, I'M staying away. Ross, Will?"

 

Will shook his head, scrubbing his sleeve against his nose. "Nope, afraid I might sneeze and blow something in his house." He looked at Ross, who simply shrugged.

 

"I'm up for it. Nothing could put a damper on my day right now." He got up, tail curling for a moment around Will's leg before switching to Trott's.

 

Lalna was the one who opened the front door at the knock. "Oh, hello, Tom."

 

Tom offered him a smile, waving one hand. "Hello, Lalna. I'm here to see if your house guests would like to pop over for tea." He looked past Lalna, noting Sips wandering down the stairs, hands in his pockets and hat pushed back slightly. Trott and Ross drifted out of the kitchen to join him at the door. When he spied Will, he gave another wave. "Hello, Will! Heard you have a nasty cold."

 

"Yeah, and it's why I'm going to have to politely decline tea." His nose wrinkled. "I'm still gross, and I don't want anything in your house to... You know... Go boom."

 

"Quite alright!" His gaze flicked over Trott and Ross. "Well, gentlemen, if you would care to join me for tea?"

 

Trott slid his shoes back on, nodding. "That'd be lovely, Tom." They walked the couple meters down the sidewalk to the neighboring house, as tall as Xephos' home with probably as many rooms. But where Xephos' home was a powdery blue, Tom's was a butter-cream yellow, like the sun being next door to the moon. The interior was equally sunny and bright, with photos everywhere of far-off places, some with other sphinx. Over the fireplace, a grand painting that had to be easily two or three hundred years old, judging by the clothing, of a regal-looking sphinx hung.

 

Ross paused at a small marble statue of two people dancing, smiling at it. Never would the pair be lonely, always dancing together, lost in their own world.

 

As they sat down, Tom set cups down on the table, then vanished out his back door. When he returned, he had a stone stool from his garden. Carefully, he sat it down by the table. "There we go, should be able to hold you." He watched, noting the hesitation as Ross carefully sat down. The seat didn't give, though, steadfastly holding his weight. Tom clapped his hands, a sound dulled by fur. "There, see? Perfect!" He took his own seat, pouring tea for them all. "I must admit, for all I've heard about your court, I'm not sure what's true and what's not."

 

Accepting his cup with a polite thanks, Sips stirred his drink. "Not sure any of us will ever confirm or deny anything besides Will." Bless that boy, he still had that honest streak to him that ran far too concurrent with the one Ross possessed. If they'd joined the court at the same time, it would surely have been a dangerous combination for the safety of secrets.

 

Tom let out a chuckle, sipping his tea, then set the cup down. He tilted his head to one side, eyes seeming to slide along the bottom of his glasses to look at Ross. "I AM curious as to why your gargoyle is cursed."

 

"I'm curious how others know about this before either we knew or told anybody." Trott set his spoon down, looking at Tom with a mixture of curiosity and mild aggitation. He got hands up in reply.

 

"Sphinx know many things, part of living longer than most fae." He thumbed toward the fireplace in the living room. "Would you believe me if I told you that's me in the painting?"

 

Sips leaned slightly to get a better look at it, then looked back at Tom. "Your everything's different."

 

"It is, yes. Different times, different trends, and all that." He waved a hand passively, then motioned to Ross. "Point is, he's cursed."

 

His fingers tapped the cup in thought, dark eyes staring at the liquid in it before shifting to Ross, who was trying to be polite as he nibbled his bisquits. Finally, Trott put his cup down, looking up at Tom. "And I don't suppose you know the NATURE of this curse, or how to get rid of it?" Such information would cost them, surely, he just hoped it wouldn't be a high cost.

 

Tom's wings twitched in response. "First you need to go back to the source of the curse. How did he get it?"

 

Ross looked up, blinking at Tom. "Stole a book from a dragon. Didn't know there was a dragon, though."

 

"Ah, that'll do it. You need to RETURN the book, and appeal to the dragon to remove it from you. If you're lucky, any damage done will be reversed."

 

His tail twitched, curling around the base of the stone stool. "But... What does the curse even DO?"

 

Tom let out a long sigh, setting his cup down and resting his elbows on the table. His hands folded together a moment, before his fingers laced together. "I would think that it's obvious." He looked at Ross over the top rim of his glasses. "You're turning as flesh as the rest of us. Please tell me you're aware of what that means."

 

Tail uncurling, Ross turned sombre. "It means breathing, eating, and sleeping won't be optional."

 

"Exactly. Amid... Other things." Tom got a confused look.

 

"Other things?"

 

Sips swirled his cup. "We'll tell you later."

 

Ross let out a huff, tail curling up into a loop for a moment, before going back to wrapping around the stool. "I don't think I like the idea of being flesh and blood." No offense to the rest of the people around him, but he liked not having to deal with many of the problems associated with being flesh and blood. Like being sick. If he was flesh and blood, he'd be able to get sick, and seeing Will sick had been alarming enough. Across from him, Trott let out a laugh.

 

"There are downsides, yes, but there are upsides... Like not chipping, generating our own heat.." He finished his tea, then sat back and looked at Tom. "How long, exactly, have you been in this city?"

 

Fingers still laced together, Tom rested his chin on top of his hands. "Oh, long enough. In a variation of what Sips called the smaller horned Sidhe lord earlier, His Big Shitness didn't have nearly as much of the city under his control as he does now." He didn't miss the amused glances Trott and Ross gave Sips. "He tried to draw me into his court, but I refuse to be part of any court." He unlaced his fingers, reaching over and pouring more tea. As he stirred sugar and cream into his cup, he couldn't help smiling. "He knows better than to mess with a sphinx, and he knows where my alliances are."

 

"With the communion."

 

"Right you are, Sips!" He set his spoon down, taking a sip of his tea. To his left, Trott shifted, confusion on his face.

 

"What's the Communion? Don't think I've ever heard of that court."

 

He set his cup down, chuckling and smiling at Trott. "Because the Communion isn't a court, it's an alliance of various witches and fae. You see, we don't like how things are, with the way most of the city is run by the fae courts." He motioned to the three at his table. "The Garbage Court is mostly the exception, from what I've seen. You're mostly just mischief, not actual debts people can never pay back." He then smiled, a slightly dangerous one. "But still not entirely what we want of the city."

 

"And what DOES the Communion want? No more courts trying to rule the city?" Trott shifted in his seat, leaning forward on the table, watching Tom.

 

"Exactly. But in the meantime, I'd say the Garbage Court is the best option we have." He rested his elbows on the table again, once again threading his fingers together. After a moment, his wings twitched. "So, I'm curious, entirely unrelated to the Communion and courts." He looked at Ross, brows furrowed. "Why did you even take that book?"

 

Ross blinked, looking up from slowly stirring his tea. "There's a spell in it, for bringing statues to life."

 

"You wanted company of another living statue?"

 

"Sort of. I saw it, and realized... There MUST be others already in the city, like me. That's where we were today." His face brightened, a broad smile taking over. "And we found one, another gargoyle! And his cathedral's in much better shape than my church was!" For one thing, a bomb hadn't fallen on it..

 

Tom's eyebrows went up as he sat back, the feathers on his wings puffing up in surprise. "You found another living gargoyle? I didn't think any besides you were left!"

 

"Zylus was happily surprised to find me alive... And free-roaming." He frowned, one finger tapping his cup. "He said... Humans were... What was that word he used..? Right, fickle. Most fell to humans and fae." He swirled the last of the tea in his cup, staring at it as he wondered on just how Zylus had known. "I suppose we're both lucky, maybe the last two in the whole city."

 

"That's interesting..." He lifted his cup, swirling the contents. Something flashed in his eyes, a thought, a spell, some unknown thing, before he put it back down. "Well, your first action is going to be taking the book back, and ask the dragon to undo whatever spell it put on you. Otherwise hitting fae is going to hurt, and iron's going to do more than just turn your skin black. As you've already found out."

 

Ross' hand drew back, vanishing under the table. "What if it doesn't, though?"

 

Tom gave a shrug. "Then you turn into flesh and blood like the rest of us. You will bleed like us, you will get sick like us..."

 

Setting his cup down, Trott chewed on his lip. "He already thought Will was dying from the common cold, I really don't want to imagine Ross sick, too." As it was, the rest would probably catch Will's cold in due time.

 

"My only advice is to beg the dragon's forgiveness, then. Go as a group if you have to, or send Ross alone." His tail flicked, curling around his chair's leg. "If you feel brave enough, that is."

 

* * *

 

 

Ross didn’t feel brave enough. He sat by the window, staring out at the evening outside. The remains of the bed creaked under the weight of everybody else trying to get comfortable, the space much too small and not as comfortable as their old bed.   
  
Looking at them, Ross’ tail curled and uncurled for a moment, before he finally opened the window, silently climbing out.   
  
From the bed, Trott watched him go.   
  
Wandering seemingly aimlessly, Ross soon found himself outside Zylus’ church. He stared up at it, feeling a pang for a past long gone he hadn’t felt in a long time. Finally, he walked through the gate and up to the doors, pushing them open. As before, there was no rejection from the barrier of the building.   
  
As he walked up the aisle between the pews, the door to the office in the back opened. “Ross? What are you doing here?”   
  
Ross only shrugged, taking a seat in front of the altar. After a moment, he looked over. “I have to face a dragon. I’m afraid.”   
  
Taking a seat next to him, Zylus’ tail curled back and forth. “Of what? Getting burned up by it?”   
  
“Maybe..” He gave another shrug, looking at his hand. “I think I’m afraid… It can’t be fixed. That I’m going to slowly turn to… Not stone.” His gaze returned to Zylus, eyes meeting. “What if I become entirely mortal? What if I turn flesh and bone and blood? What will happen to my tail, and my horns, and my-”   
  
“I REALLY don’t want to think about THAT part of you, Ross.” Zylus held his hands up, eyes squeezed shut for a moment. When he finally looked at Ross, his tail twitched, glass tapping lightly on the floor. “So, why does that bring you here?”   
  
Letting out a long sigh, Ross braced his hands on the floor behind him, leaning back to look up at the stained-glass windows. “I suppose I hoped that, maybe, being in a church would calm me. But it didn’t.”   
  
“You seem calm to me right now.”   
  
Ross smiled, looking over. “That’s because you calmed me. Just being here, like a comfort. That I’m not the only one this could happen to, at some point. But I think it’s also the comfort of… I’m not the only gargoyle now.” His gaze returned to the windows, staring at a window of two angels illuminated by a street light outside. After a moment, his tail curled around Zylus’ waist, something he’d taken up as habit long ago with his court. While Zylus looked at him in surprise, his own tail soon wrapped around Ross’ own waist, mimicry of a gesture of comfort.   
  
Eventually, Ross fell asleep on the floor, curled up at the foot of the altar. Zylus, unaccustomed to sleep, only watched, settling with his back to the altar.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally this was going to be much longer, with Ross returning the book in it, kicking off another plot thread, then I went "This makes it TOO long, I'm going to break this up into two stories now." It was inspired by the Urban Magic Aesthetic post about Ross knowing all the saints and what they do, praying to them for little daily things in his day-to-day, and it had struck me at the time that he would apply it to his court, even if two of them didn't believe in the same things he did. Because it's 2:30 in the morning when I'm posting this, I'll find the post later and edit it in here.


End file.
